Bill Scott
I receive so many questions and comments about sexual sin on a regular basis. So many people are struggling with sexual sins and yet they feel as those they are the only ones failing. Satan loves us to feel like we are the only one not measuring up. Many are dealing with this sin. God loves you, delights in you and will walk you through to freedom. I hope this helps you in your walk to freedom.
Bill Scott
SEXUAL SIN
Marnie C. Ferree and Mark R. Laaser
(1 Thessalonians 4:5)
A trip to the grocery store on any given day will reveal the blatant sexual messages that infiltrate modern culture. The checkout line is a tunnel of sexual stimuli by way of magazine images and headlines. In every corner of the everyday experience, unholy sexual messages abound.
Sexual sin is not a new problem. Long before the “free love” climate of the modern world, the New Testament recorded incest, adultery, homosexuality, lust, and perversions of every kind throughout the cities of the Roman Empire where Paul established churches. God calls Christians to a vision of healthy sexuality that is experienced only in the sanctity of the marriage union.
Forms of Sexual Sin
The forms of sexual sin and perversion are as varied as the depraved human mind can fathom. The Bible talks about “lust,” which is a generic term encompassing many variations of the desire to gratify sexual needs in purely physical ways outside the spiritual and emotional commitment of marriage.
The sin of adultery is one example. King David’s sin with Bathsheba illustrates the incredible damage adultery causes to the people involved, as well as to their marriages and their families (2 Sam. 11, 12). Homosexuality is another example. While today it is often deemed unacceptable to view same-sex encounters as sinful or perverted, the Bible’s position is clear: Homosexual behavior is sin (1 Cor. 6:9). Other common sexual perversions in society include exhibitionism, voyeurism, cross-dressing, or some kind of sexual fetish. Sexual abuse, especially of children, is another perversion that is profoundly damaging. Almost always, professional help is required when someone is dealing with the web of sexual abuse or some similarly serious perversion.
However, the problem Christian helpers are most likely to encounter is pornography. Many leading Christian counselors and clergy consider pornography to be the number one social problem today. The Internet has conveniently introduced an incredible array of perverted, yet compelling pornography. More sexually oriented sites are launched on the Internet than any other kind.
Underlying Causes of Sexual Sin
Most sexually sinful or perverted behavior is not coincidental or impulsive. Frequently, it is a symptom of deeper issues. One of the underlying issues is loneliness—a disconnection of intimate relationships. Perhaps a marital relationship has gone stale, or the partners never learned to communicate in the first place. Or maybe a single individual feels isolated and unimportant. Some inappropriate behavior is the result of trauma, especially childhood abuse or abandonment.
Another underlying cause behind sexual sin may be the seduction of the culture. Our sexually saturated society gives the message that everyone is having promiscuous sex.
Solutions to Sexual Sin
How can one best help someone who is struggling in this area? A foundational principle is to approach the sexual sinner with grace rather than with judgment. There is no difference in God’s sight: Everyone is sinful (Rom. 3:22, 23). Sexual sin and perversion must be addressed in the spiritual arena. The sinner must first be willing to admit and confess the sin. The model of David’s haunting confession of his sin, written in Psalm 51, can be helpful. Repentance is a crucial spiritual component of healing. The word “repent” means to turn away from the behavior, as illustrated in Jesus’ command to the adulterous woman to “go and sin no more” (John 8:11).
Following confession, a person should accept God’s forgiveness. Through forgiveness, people are able to enjoy a new sexual start. God has cleansed them and made them “white as snow” (Is. 1:18). Many people embrace the idea of “spiritual virginity,” which simply means a rededica-tion to sexual purity.
In the relational realm, healing may need to take place in the context of community—such as Christian counseling and/or Christian mentoring. Other believers who are connected to and supportive of a person can help him or her through the healing process. By being partners in accountability, they can help the person through times of temptation, so that he or she is less likely to return to the same sin. However, if a person is unable to maintain boundaries and repeatedly commits sexual sin, an addiction may be present, which will require professional help.
In a practical sense, the person may need to avoid certain people, places, and activities in order to maintain boundaries against sexual sin. The injunction to “keep your heart” is a good guide (Prov. 4:23). Christians are promised a way of escape from temptation, which may involve practical tools such as learning to communicate their needs in an appropriate manner and discovering how to develop greater self-control (1 Cor. 10:13).
Paul calls believers to “put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind” (Eph. 4:22, 23). This renewal is built on a new vision that abandons the urge to indulge in sexual sin or perversion. “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Gal. 5:16).
When people have a vision of commitment to sexual purity and when they have others to whom they can be accountable, they will be better able to make healthy sexual choices.
Further Meditation:
Other passages to study about the issue of sexual sin include:
ã Proverbs 5:1–23; 6:20—7:27ã John 8:1–11ã Romans 6:12ã 1 Corinthians 5:9–13; 6:15–20ã 1 Thessalonians 4:1–7 To learn more see: The Soul Care Bible: Experiencing and Sharing Hope God’s Way This article is Copyright © 2001 by the American Association of Christian Counselors
